Cast of "Characters"

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(I am writing this on the last day I am in Queretaro. We are going back to Agoura because the classes offered by my JFK in Queretaro were not the same as Agoura, causing him to be behind schedule. But we still love Mexico.) But...

At the end of a movie, show, or book, there are always acknowledgments about who helped create the experience.

So, it is with our experience in Queretaro. There are countless people who our family have met along the way who have kept us safe, fed, interested and were just plain fantastic.

We-our family--agree that the people in this country is what makes the difference. Oh,yes, the food is fantastic, the cobblestone streets and the century-old churches and buildings help. As does the sheer beauty of the sunrises, sunsets, greenery, and the combination of modern and ancient in Queretaro.

More Neighbors and Friends

But, without a doubt, the people matter.

So, I would love to name ALL the people
who have influenced us,but that would be impossible. Invariably, I will leave someone out. So, I will TRY to just name the people who had the greatest impact on us.

Paola, Thalia, Diane...and Rudy..

Barry (realtor)-our first connection and the man who got us our wonderful apartment. And Jewish. One of 14 Jews we found in Queretaro.

Paola (Lorena)-Always with a smile and a positive attitude, she was our “landlord.” But Diane and she bonded and our friends for life now. She cherishes life, and loved when we invited her over for Yom Kippur dinner.

All of the neighbors in our apartment building. Many times, it was like an episode of “Friends,” where we just invite people over to sit and talk. That’s it.

Thalia, Roberta, Aldo y mi familia...

Michelle, Alessandro, Rebecca and Sebastian--a true international family; a mixture of intelligence and charm.  We learned so much from them, and will miss seeing them.

Thalia, Roberta, Aldo--like our second family. So inviting and helpful. Always smiling and happy, especially little Roberta, who loves everything. Always!

All my colleagues at my school--where I tried my hardest to speak Spanish. Brenda is a perfect blend of hard work, intelligence and fun. The kids love her. I will also miss our linguistic talks with Marianna, who taught me some basic, basic Spanish. A great teacher and friend.

Ulises--He would have been my best friend in Queretaro, but he left in mid-year, without saying where or why he left. He just left without a trace. We think he’s somewhere south of the city.

Monica--She wasn’t even my student, but an 18-year-old senior. When I found out she played tennis (ranked #45 or so? in Mexico for juniors), we started playing. Another blend of intelligence, athleticism, and always happy and smiling Like so many, she tried to teach me

Uli, star tennis player Monica y Yo.

Spanish in tennis: “red” means “net”, right? When I think of students in Mexico, she is a great example. One of the brightest in her class, but the educational system is not set up for applying to an American University.

My students.. Are so full of fun and laughter. I will miss ALL of them.

Vicki, janitor at school, who worked so hard, with a huge smile. She came into my classroom everyday and we talked--which was funny because she knew little English and I less Spanish!

Leila and Edu - Leila like a sister to Diane and Edu was my “first time”--er, eating at the mercado and trying to speak Spanish.

Gavin, Edu, Leila, D, and Yo.

Rebecca- our little kid sister, who was always telling us stories, and her adventures.

Jake- probably our first “friend” from JFK--he picked us up at the airport, and helped us in a million ways.

Stores--We made friends with all kinds of shopkeepers and restaurant owners. From Pamela who made the best tamales on 5 de Mayo to the around-the-corner pregnant Heladeria owners or Sergio at Panaderia de la Cruz, they all gave us smiles and helped us enjoy the city.

From the corner Lavanderia: Jose Luis, Elise, Anna y Carlos. 

Lavanderia-Gavin and I went into the the corner lavanderia, and started talking to the owners. Before long, we were friends with Jose Luis, Carlos, Anna and Elise. We went out for dinner, talked on What’s App, were invited to their house,  taught each other Spanish and English, and now consider them good friends.

On 5 de Mayo, Hana’s Tacos are famous. Marina, a woman who must scorch her hand every night as she flips sopes y tacos, will be indelibly etched in our memory. Hana is usually patting out the fresh tortillas every night.

My dentists, especially Frederici Baena, where I probably spent more hours in his chair than I did eating dinner. Yes, I took advantage of the inexpensive dentistry here, but these doctors are perfectionists and excellent. Robert Sanchez Lara specializes in root canals (I had 4), but each one was painless. (I fell asleep once).

Mike and Joanne and Luna--Good friends from JFK, but we never really got to know them as well as we would have liked. We went to some events with them, had them over for dinner, and became friends.

Sarah, Joanne, Mike, D, Gavin

We met this very talkative woman named Sarah Ash during one of our trips to San Miguel de Allende. We loved her enthusiasm, and she told us of a Newcomers Club for people new to Queretaro. Ma Luisa was always charming and helpful, giving us all kinds of tips about the city. She was a treasure of information .

At our first "football" game: Diane, Kim, Chip, Pierce, Gavin

Chip, Kim, Nicole, Sierra and Pierce Wall-We connected with them because, well, they spoke English and were from the U.S. We later found them to be one of our closest friends in the city, sharing Christmas and other important occasions (Ohio State games). Chip took us to our very first Gallos game, as he told us to be careful when they threw beer in the stands when any team scored (later, we questioned if it was beer or something else with a golden tint)

Jeff Lewis and family-Yes, we actually cooked a Shabbat dinner together and celebrated. I think this might be a first for Queretaro.

JFK Soccer moms--who cheered on Gavin’s 9th grade team. Their cheer of “Yaguars, Yaguars, Roar, Roar, Roar” is hysterical.

I know I’ve left some people out. There are a lot of people who we have talked to. But this has been a great experience for 11 months. We’ve seen a lot, but it’s the people we will remember and love.

Friends and Neighbors in our apartment..again!

--Eric

Next Chapter: TeachingytacosdelNorte?

Espanol (Okay, Spanish)

English or Spanish--Which is more difficult?

The debate rages...Which language is more difficult to learn--English or Spanish? Mexicans swear that Spanish is more difficult, while I say just the opposite. And I get the questions all the time from Uber drivers, students and others..

(Please, please forgive me if I don’t use accent marks or misspell some words in this blog. I’m new to this language)

Without a doubt, one of the major problems for me in getting around in Mexico is understanding the language. At the store, in restaurants, on the bus, and especially at official places (airports, schools, government offices), Spanish is everywhere in Mexico.

Good Ol Charlie Brown--in Español!

In Queretaro, we’ve been lucky: I have only encountered one person who could not handle my broken Spanish. I started asking a question, she threw up her hands and asked someone in the back to help her. Everyone else has been happy (or at least not angry) to figure out my Spanglish. Or Diane’s.

Searching for Pokemon in Mexico!

In restaurants, if you are presented an English menu, it’s insulting. The waiter is saying: “Okay, we know you’re a gringo, so don’t even try to speak our language.” The most frustrating feeling is when you think you’re speaking Spanish perfectly, then the person says “de donde eres? They know you’re not from Mexico!

But, especially with food, you need to know what you are eating. We almost ordered pulpo, which sounded great (that’s octopus) We ordered pata, which is a pig’s paw. And papas and papas (one is father, the other is potato).

And some words, you need to be careful. Last week, I held out my arms and asked “embarazada?” They giggled. That means pregnant; i meant to say “abrazo” (hug). Whoops.

My humble opinion (after 10 months here):

Spanish and English are similar. In fact, the word similar is similar in English and Spanish. tourist is turista, channel is canal, justice is justicia, computer is computadora, etc, etc. So, much of the vocabulary you can figure out. When you get to tenses, conjugations, and syntax, there lie the major differences. And Spanish, apparently, has no apostrophes for possessives. So, “Eric’s” just becomes “de Eric.” And of course, the adjectives follow the verb (red car is carro rojo)

So, which is more difficult? I think English, just because it is filled with so many rules and exceptions. When I teach English, I find myself saying, “This is the rule. Always. Except when….” And English probably has more idioms than Spanish.

Nutella- in different flavors: te quiero, hermano,
mama, hijo, papa, y nutella!!

I’ve gotten by with my very, very bad pronunciation (Diane’s is much better). When I speak the Spanish word (only in Mexico) of “munday?” which means “huh?” or “what?”, most cannot never understand what I’m saying. They think I’m saying Monday. I’ve never learned how to pronounce it, so I just say “que?”

Bien? Or is it Bueno? Or Bueño?

Rules y Leyes

Rules and Regulations.

No Motorcycles, Bikes and
 Bears are OK?

Yes, there are probably millions of laws on the books in Mexico, but a lot of them are not followed--and sometimes they are. We’re not sure why...or why not. Everything from traffic safety to food and restaurant inspections to dog safety, Mexico probably has laws which are very similar to the U.S. (I haven’t researched this fully because I’m not a lawyer). I’ve just pointed out the most obvious.

Restaurants:

A lot of restaurants allow dogs to roam within the doors. If you ask nice enough, some will even allow the dogs to sit near the table. And then some are clearly labeled “Pet Friendly” where dogs are welcomed. They even provide water dishes, fake grass and dirt for the dogs to roam. I’ve never seen any other animals than dogs here.Some of these places are outside, but what a great idea! This makes a lot of sense; what harm does my dog pose at a Helado (ice cream) store?

Most restaurants are very clean and most have the chef use gloves to handle germ-laden money. You just have to get used to bees buzzing around a cinnamon bun (proving it’s sweet) or flys around meat cooked on a large, open grill.

Cars:

When we Uber, invariably the driver will drive looking at his cell phone for directions. Some have even answered the phone while driving, and some have texted at a red light or in traffic. Wow. Yes, we could complain to Uber but this is part of what happens here. The laws are on the books, but ignored.

Bus Driver reads the paper at
a red light

On the city bus, my driver has done everything from read the paper at stop lights, blared loud music and had fascinating conversation (in Espanol) with passengers. Last week, he was on his cell phone in his left hand and driving the bus in the other (I didn’t care because he was too busy to take my 8 ½ pesos fare). It’s normal to eat on the bus.And, yes,, there are bus stops, but if you just put out your hand (like hailing a taxi), they might stop. Or not. One hot day, my bus passed me by two times before finally stopping.

The running joke is that the signs that say “Alto” or Stop are merely suggestions. I don’t think I have been in one car which has stopped at these signs. But they do stop at red lights.

Car Seats:

Child in front seat (yes, I had to
blur the photo to protect identities)

Another child in front seat (blurred faces)

If you stand at an intersection long enough, you will find a car with a small child in the passenger seat. Several times, the child was on the lap of the mother--in the passenger seat. Yes, there is a law about car seats, but I think there is a feeling that nothing will ever happen to the children. Or they want to be close to their child, so they hold them.

Construction:

Worker pours water on stones from a 2-liter Coca Cola bottle

Dangerous

I love this. Workmen, in regular street clothes, were pouring water water from a 2-liter Coca-Cola bottle onto some kind of stone cutter as they were digging up a city street. No safety goggles. No special equipment. Just water and a jug.

When a building starts to buckle or crack on the outside, workers take a day or so to patch some of the holes, then carefully paint it a beautiful color. So, that old, crumbling building looks brand new. It’s like spray painting an old, beat-up car; it looks good on the outside, but it might not run. No inspection department here (that I know of). Remember, a lot of these building are made of cement, with some steel reinforcement. Maybe bricks.

Precarious--on his tippie toes

On buildings, I haven’t seen any safety nets or tethers. The men just climb up, and start hammering away. A favorite photo is a man painting something on the top of a 15-foot scaffolding, perched on top of only wooden planks, standing on an old paint bucket, and on his toes. He could have fallen and died. This is the definition of: precarious.

Drinking: It’s common for minors to sit down at a restaurant and be served a beer. The drinking age here is 18, and even Frommer’s says that is not enforced. Everyone just seems to look the other way when minors are served. And apparently there is no “open container” law here, so you can drink alcohol in the passenger seat.

There seems to be a macho or laissez faire attitude in this country. I’m not quite sure which one. But it is definitely different than the United States, where OSHA and the FDA would quickly shut down the entire project or restaurant. Instead, Mexicans keep building. I admire it, it's refreshing, and am in wonder of it.

A Student is a Student

Students are students.

In my last 10 months in Mexico, I’ve seen several kinds of students. None of them are different from the type of student I have seen in California. I’ve taught nerds, jocks, and artists in Mexico...and in Los Angeles. I’ve talked with students with severe learning disorders...in both countries. I’ve taught students who are extremely bright, and those who don’t understand basic concepts. It is the system and the culture in both countries which makes these students different.

Let me explain. In Mexico, at least at the school I have been teaching, the parents are the most important asset. Exams are given constantly, probably because it’s easy for parents to see a number from an exam. There are more systemic differences. When a parent or student has a concern (good or bad), first the owner of the school is alerted, then the principal, then the grade coordinator, and finally the teacher (if at all). Through this pipeline, you can see that stories change by the time it finally gets to the teacher. And, parents are always right! For example, if the student comes home and tells his mom he doesn’t understand the grammar homework, the mom would call the school and the process begins.

Most would agree that in the United States, parents are not the most important; instead, a community effort of teachers, administrators, parents, students, community leaders and others are needed to create a safe and rigorous learning environment. This normally doesn’t happen,but it’s not all-parent based. So, for example, students would typically email me directly with questions. I would talk to parents all the time about projects in the classroom. That same mom would not even be in the picture about a confusing homework assignment. The student would simply email me, or just ask me during school.

My Typical Classroom-Clean, Modern

Also, the culture is different. A telling story: during Christmas (yes, in Mexico you go on Christmas vacation, Holy Week, etc. there is no “politically correct” here, in a country which is mostly Catholic), I gave my students a writing prompt: “What will you be doing for Christmas vacation?” The answers ranged from “spending time with my family,” “going to the movies with my friends,” “going on vacation with my family,” or “having a nice family dinner.” There was no mention of gift giving or even an expectation of a gift during Christmas.

If I asked the same kind of question in Los Angeles, I would not get a 100% response about family and friends. So, in Mexico, the family is all-important. This is just one example.

Yesterday, I had a typical conversation with a graduating Senior, who had grown up in Europe and traveled the world. She has straight A’s. Her family is now in Queretaro. I asked her where she was going to University. She told me she was staying in Queretaro. “My family is here,” she said. I told her she could probably go anywhere in the world to study, not just the United States. “But I like it here,” she said. That is very, very typical. Why go somewhere else if you’re comfortable? For most Americans, the answer is: because you should expand your mind, explore, and find out what you want to do. But that is not the thinking here. Neither is correct; the cultures are just different.

Don’t get me wrong-the students and teachers in Mexico are wonderful. The rules and culture create that. There are values taught every week at my school.I am most impressed by their honesty.  It’s not unusual for students to enter the classroom before the teacher. Several times, I was told to leave my classroom alone and go somewhere (a birthday party, teach another class, etc.). There is mutual trust throughout the school, where students sometimes leave their expensive computers in the open classroom. That’s nice.

I try to add color and creativity to a drab classroom.

The school: very, very clean. Our custodian comes in several times a day and sweeps, even where there are 3 pieces of trash. It doesn’t matter. When I tell her not to,(mi salon es muy limpia--is that right?)  she sweeps anyway.

The blue and white uniforms for middle school students at my school equalize the income gap. For example, a wealthy student cannot wear Calvin Klein jeans and a Abercrombie & Fitch shirt. The wear these frumpy, baggy blue and white uniforms. No makeup is allowed, nor earrings (although most have something). Most public schools do not have uniforms (yes, some do). But another factor in keeping the students inline.

Blue Uniforms Add Uniformity to the School (Sorry,I had to blur students' faces)

All classrooms have smartboards, although only one I know has the cord to use it. All have projectors. But when you look on the whiteboards, there is nothing written, not even the date.

And almost all teachers bring their own laptops from home. Although these are probably worth at least a month’s salary for teachers, they bring them to do grades, lessons and attendance because there is no printer available for teachers.

I always wonder how these students would fare in the United States. Some would excel, and others not. But that’s education.

Are the students in the US smarter? I would say-on the whole- yes, only because they have been exposed to more substantive learning experience, not just exams. Most Mexican students have a difficult time with critical thinking because they weren’t trained that way. Most students--not all! But the US can learn from the Mexican system about the honesty and creativity from the Mexican students. I love that part of teaching students here.

Is the US system the best? No. A lot of countries have much better systems, with more projects, smaller class sizes, more differentiation, etc. Both Mexico and the US have a long way to go.

All in all, a student is a student. Cultures and systems alter the students.

Eleven Visits to the Mexican Immigration Office

If you have ever waited in line at the California DMV without an appointment, you might know what the Immigration Service in Mexico--called INM- is like.

It’s 11 times worse.

To make a very long story short, I visited that INM office 11 times and 6 months later to finally get my authorization to work in Mexico. The good news was the office was close to our apartment, so i could walk there. The bad news: every time I went, it became increasingly more frustrating.

As I’ve written before, Mexico has a very “manana” mentality. Things can wait until tomorrow or the next week. This is very well seen at this office, where they are only open from 9-1 p.m.

I marched into the office in August armed with all my information gleaned from the internet and various people I had talked to. But that would not be enough. I would not get my work permit until January of 2017.

11 Visits to INM:

The Famous INM Office in Queretaro

Visit #1: I came with original birth certificate for me, Gavin and Diane, marriage certificate, my passport, official photos, and the official INM form. I waited for a couple hours, then Claudia--the designated English speaker clerk--helped me. She looked at my forms, shuffled them, then calmly said, “No.” I asked what was wrong. She told me the forms needed to be translated into Spanish. I looked at them and they were already in Spanish. I asked why. “It needs to be official.” I stupidly asked why, again. She repeated the same response. We found Patricia Moreno Rubio (Multilink Traductores) who said she could have them all done by the next Monday or Tuesday. So, we waited. $1500 pesos later and it was translated.

2-My friend Edu joined me picking up the translations, then at INM. But when I presented the forms, I wasn’t aware they needed to keep copies of the translations. So, I had to return the next day (the office closes at 1). At least, Edu and I enjoyed a lunch together at the local Mercado.

3-I presented the forms a couple days later, but it was not correct. We lived at Calle 5 de Mayo. On the form, it asked what the name of our street was. I did not put Calle 5 de Mayo, so we had to return the next week (holidays, etc).  So, we had to change one word, try to decipher the Spanish, and print it out.

4-Our marriage certificate had the wrong name on it. I married Diane Gloria Waxman. But her passport said only Diane Bidna. So, INM wanted us to go to the U.S. Consulate in San Miguel de Allende to get a letter saying that my wife was the same person.

5-We presented the letter from the U.S Consulate. Claudia asked, “Where is Diane Gloria?” She raised her hand and said, “I’m here.” “No, this is for Diane Bidna, not Diane Gloria. You need to get another letter from the U.S. Consulate stating that they are the same person." So, we jumped in an Uber and went back to the U.S. Consulate about 40 minutes away. We made it in time that the Consulate closed at 1, but INM was closed. The man at the Consulate (Ed) felt so sorry for us.

6.Finally, by October 20, we were close to getting our card. Claudia finally looked at us, and said, “Yes, congratulations. We will process your card.” She stamped several documents, with a loud “stamping” sound, copied something and told us to pay $1149 pesos at the bank. We went the next couple days, on October 25, and I proudly walked in the next day.

7-I came in with all the documents. But I had figured out the system--go late in the afternoon, about 12:00 or 12:30 because they close the doors at 1 p.m. The clerks want to leave, so they will do anything to get out of there quickly. So, I walked in with all the documents. But one of the copies of the marriage certificate did not photocopy correctly--one little corner did not photocopy.  So, they told me to come back the next day with a complete copy. The irony: I had our original marriage certificate, but she needed the copy. Plus, they had copy machines in the back room!

8-Finally, the correct documents were submitted and I could pick up my card--after the holidays--in 10-14 days.

Now, I had to apply for a card to work and earn money in Mexico. The same kind of process: fill out a form online, visit the office, get a letter from the school, submit photos and I was done.

9-I submitted all the documents. I paid the money--$3596 pesos--at the bank, and waited. It might take weeks to get my work permit, they told me.

10-On December 14, 2016 at 1:05 p.m., I submitted everything and waited. They fingerprinted me, check and double-checked and the clerk Ramses helped me. He also handwrote a letter to get my official CURP number (it took him 1 minute).  He said it might take weeks--because of the Christmas holiday--to get my work permit. I also brought him some chocolate candy. He was so excited.

11-Finally, on January 11, 2017, I received my “Residente Temporal” with “Permiso Para Trabajar” card. Now, I could start earning money. Wow.

What did I learn?

People line up early--7 a.m.-but expect to
 wait and wait and wait

-If you want to speed up the process, you can hire an attorney who speaks Spanish and will save you time. But they usually costs 2 or 3 times the amount of the fees.

-Mexico prides itself on its rules and regulations,but the more you know the people, the better the service.

-If I had spoken Spanish, several of these visits to INM could have been avoided.

-There is a 24/7 phone number for INM, but they don’t like to speak English--I was lost several times when they tried to transfer my call.

-For the 6 months, no one was ever mean or rude to me about the process. They were just following their rules.

-If you make a mistake (Calle, for example), you must correct it in the manner which you submitted it: If you typed it, you must retype it. If you handwrite it, you must re-handwrite it.

- You need to sign your name exactly as it is on your passport, or it will be rejected. And stay within the lines or you need to redo the entire application!

-You cannot expect to just initial something if you make a mistake. It must be your exact signature.

-Never say, “That’s what we do in the United States.” This is Mexico, and you should know that.

-Dulce at Diane's school was so helpful for me, giving us the correct information. Her attorney friend Alicia, who was always there, also helped. There is a lot of wrong information online! Also, our neighbors Michelle and Alessandro helped us laugh through the process.

-Bring something to read or do while you sit there for hours.

-Bring the clerks candy. Or tacos. Or Enchiladas Queretanos. They are human.

-You need to be patient. And more.